Therapeutic Blogging

That's what this post is hoping to be. Today is a tad overwhelming. The worst part is that my sister's good friend and my walking partner's good friend each had a devastating loss in their lives today. My sister's friend's teenage son lost his battle with cancer and my walking partner's very good friend died of the same disease leaving her children without a mother.

These things make you think about life. As I drove to get Matthew at scouts I wondered how my family would cope without me. Ken couldn't really keep his job if he didn't have me at home. This week he is in Philadelphia M-F late. He couldn't do that without a mother to watch his children. But alas people are faced with this each day.

I also think about J., my sister's friend who has to bury her son. How does someone do that without complete despair?

Anyway....I am trying to get beyond the sadness of it all. It makes me want to think, that all this day to day stuff really doesn't matter, but we know it all does. I still need to feed/clothe/teach my children, pay my bills, keep the laundry from taking over etc. So as much as I would like to not stress about these things, I still do.

Ok, so far this post hasn't been extremely therapeutic. But here goes. I think it helps to remember the good when faced with times of sadness. To remember things for which I am thankful. The list, Thank the Lord, is endless, there are so many blessings. It is important to remember that these things are bigger than the list of worries.

Here are a few things for which I am thankful - in picture form:
FAMILY (my kiddos)

FAMILY (my parents and siblings - here at my parent's birthday celebrations this summer - now my folks really are 80 - this summer we just pretended ;)

FAMILY (this summer there were 33 of us together plus a handful of significant others - here is just a small grouping) It was wonderful to be together and celebrate the lives of my parents.

FAMILY (Ken) and FRIENDS (at U of Iowa Homecoming this October) What a blessing to get to spend some time with old friends. Ken's folks and sister watched the kids, which was fantastic. It was great to spend time with Ken and friends we only see once or twice a year...or less than that.


I am thankful that I have things that sometimes seem stressful:

-crazy amounts of laundry - that means we have plenty of warm clean clothes to wear

-dirty dishes in the sink - that means that we had food to eat and fun (basketball and Boy Scouts) activities to run off to tonight. Watching Joel play basketball makes me smile. He is so serious about playing well, all the while he has runs down the court with a happy look on his face. He just loves it, which is fun to watch...even when it means everyone will go to bed late when Ken is gone on Monday nights during basketball season.

-learning a new job - I am returning to a career I love. Of course there will be things to learn - how could there not be after 10 years, especially in a new setting with different job responsibilities.

Please pray with me for those people who lost loved ones today. Pray also that we can have the right perspective on life and keep God at the center even when we feel pulled in many direction. Pray that our children learn to live with that same God center - that is what this world is all about. And as a quick addition, pray for my friend N., who had an offer on her house. That they can sell their house and get through all the bumps that come on the relocation road with as little stress as possible!

God Bless You!

Special Day without Dad and Matthew

Ken took Matthew to see the Iowa game to celebrate his (Ken's) birthday. We sort of struggled with it, because he took Matthew last year, but Joel is a bit young to hang with the game for 3 hours and Carolyn doesn't love football the way Matthew does. Anyway, we decided to have a fun day at home and then everyone wins!

We went to Playground for Kids and even I had fun because my friend Jean happened to be there with her kids!

We followed up with a trip to Hu Hot - Mongolian grill. We had gone there once before with all the kids and they loved it. It is the kind of place where you pick your ingredients and then the cooks make it in front of you. Very fun. The other day I needed a good way to fix left over chicken and we had Homemade Hu Hot....Carolyn and Joel loved it...sometimes it is how you sell it :)

I will have to see if Ken got a picture of Matthew at the game on his phone to post. The Hawks lost, but I think the boys had fun anyway.

Carolyn's pretty new glasses

The good news is that the glasses have been found, as they were lost between when I took the picture and could post on the blog! They were just hiding in her desk at school - whew! They are a pretty pink!

Whew - glad that week is over.

It all started when I received my friend CP's Christmas card last year and she mentioned in her letter to her friends that her job would be changing in 2011 because the grant she worked on was coming to an end.

hmmmm....I worked on the same grant.

Yes I knew the grant was ending, but until that point, I didn't really have in my head that my job would be ending. I talked with my boss about options and she thought I might be able to find other research work.

Well....to me that seemed like a big MAYBE, especially since all the researchers were in Omaha ....and I was not.

For awhile I had contemplated getting my speech language pathology degree, since so much of the work I have done in the last 10 years has been rather speechy. Well...there are no SLP programs in my area and really commuting to Iowa City was not going to work, plus I think SLPs are a bit more creative than I am. I mean, I can make a quilt, but coming up with tons and tons of lesson plans would really challenge me.

In February (I think), it hit me - I could return to clinical audiology. Ever since I took my first job out of grad school as a cochlear implant/research audiologist I felt like I shot myself in the foot a bit as an audiologist. By not doing traditional audiology for years, I felt like I was less of an audiologist and didn't know how I would ever be able to do that work again. If that didn't kill my self assurance, taking 10 years off of clinical audiology really was making it difficult for me to comprehend returning to that line of work. BUT THAT IS WHAT I TRAINED TO DO....FOR SIX YEARS!!

So I was in a bit of turmoil, since my "baby" would be going to kindergarten in 2013. It seemed crazy that I worked part time since Matthew was born and then I would stop working right before my kids were all in school. It would be hard for me not to work in my field too....especially given that it was my training that helped dictate my salary and I didn't want to work for 1/2 of that in a different field. EICKS!

I started researching my return to clinical audiology and it was natural for me to think about re-vamping my education. First of all, 10 years is a long time to not be doing something, and 2nd the new entry level degree for audiology is the doctorate. I asked everyone I knew in the field if they thought I should get my AUD (clinical audiology doctorate). My grad. school advisor voted "no", but almost everyone else landed in the "yes" or "probably" category.

I decided to apply in March and then got cold feet. It was a lot of money and would require 2 summers in school, which would be hard. I took some time off from thinking about it and decided to apply to start in the fall.

I then started worrying - what if I spend all this money and then no one wants to hire me? I often just searched the internet for audiology jobs in Des Moines and found one that wanted a very part time audiologist. I applied, but then regretted it because it would be too much to do while I was finishing my obligation to Boys Town. Also, by the grace of God I was going to be return to Omaha for 10 days to revamp my clinical skills during the summer and couldn't also do this other job. Anyway, I did interview with the clinic, but put them off until after my Boys Town summer gig was complete. I interviewed with them again, but still wasn't sure because they didn't have an audiologist, hadn't had one for a long time and I wasn't sure that being without a colleague was my best plan for my first job back in the field. While researching this job I heard about an audiologist in D.M. who was very well respected. Then I heard this audiologist was looking for help. Then I spoke to this audiologist and her manager and realized they would let me work part time, averaging 2 1/2 days a week during school hours and I just had to interview for this position.

Obviously I realized that there would be a period of time when my old job would not be over and the new job would have already started AND I would be taking a class for my doctorate. Little frightening.

Well I was offered the job at both places on the same day and accepted the job where there would be another audiologist (everyone I spoke to really liked her and respected her work - including the people who were offering me the other job).

That job started 5 weeks ago and I have learned a mountain of information. Maybe the most important thing that I learned is that I really like clinical audiology! It hasn't been too hard to balance everything...mostly because I knew that this was for a very short period of time.

Well this week, everything came together in a big way because it was the final for my class, which involved finishing a resource project, presenting the resource project and taking a final exam. Plus for my new job there were a couple of hearing aid meetings I needed to attend and my normal work for both jobs. WOZERS.

The house is a mess and I have loads of laundry to put away, but we all survived and I am done with school until 2012, when my Boys Town work will be over. I will miss Boys Town, since they have been my employer for 18 1/2 years and really all I have known since grad school. It will be nice, however, to have only one job (that pays money I mean, because obviously being the mother of 4 kids is a HUGE job :)

I should start my normal schedule at the hospital soon, which will also make things lighten up a bit.

In January, I start my next class (audiology counseling) which I am really looking forward to. Things will continue to be pretty busy with an avg. of 15 hours a week of work, plus my class. Summer will be especially crazy, but in the fall it will be nice to do all my work while my kids are in school. I have worked weekends since Matthew was born so it will be nice to get my weekends partly back in January and almost all the way back in August when the kids go to school. I should be able to do all my school work and clinical work while the kids are at school. December 2012 I will do my Comps and then take my last class in 2013, finishing in March. That will be a great day too! (3 classes down (if you count the Public Health class I had to take before starting my "real classes") and 7 to go!

I do think that I have gotten past the biggest hurdles:
#1 deciding what to do re: my career
#2 starting my doctorate
#3 GETTING THE JOB
#4 learning all I have in the last 10 months to refresh my clinical skills

last but not least
#5 surviving a month with 2 (part time) jobs and 1 class

Much thanks goes to my sweet hubby, but that was the last blog post :)

Thanks for letting me decompress and dumping this story after finishing my final!! I can have a more relaxed December .... yeah!!! I feel like I am on a good path now and I pray every day that God help me balance this work with my family and to do both well. Lately I have been praying a bunch for my patients too!

Why my hubby wins Husband of the Year!

Today I had my final for my 2nd audiology class.

#1 I called my hubby at 4:15 to say the wireless internet wasn't working on our home computer and he came home right away to fix it.
#2 Then he set us his computer as a back-up, in case the wireless connection gave up during the test.
#3 After that he took all 4 kids out to dinner so it would be quiet during my test.
#4 Before leaving he made light of the situation by saying, "have a good time"....it is always good to make light of a situation with a smile on your face.
#5 He was thoughtful enough to take my work bag out of the car when he left...thank Goodness, because I needed a picture ID to take the proctored test, but forgot until after he left.
#6 Last but not least he brought me a calzone for dinner after my test and got the kids PJs on and teeth brushed while I enjoyed it.

I would include a great picture of my hubby here, but I charged my camera battery without plugging in the charger to the wall.....(and my hubby didn't even make fun of me because he is so great)